At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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