dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
