walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I am available for nakedness
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
