I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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