hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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