Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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