Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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