if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
