you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize