Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
