Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
