Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
