We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
