Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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