Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
