I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
God, I missed his penis.
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