youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
