you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
