I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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