I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
