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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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