So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
