All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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