I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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