just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
