I could make wine with my vomit
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize