Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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