I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
