also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
