we made out on top of his cat.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
