I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
