Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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