In America we eat man semen.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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