all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
