i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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