Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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