I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have tasted many bathrooms
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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