Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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