Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  did you hook up austin?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed

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  (269): did you hook up austin? (248): No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed http://tfl.nu/3mnz
  Replies (5) Good night (964) Bad night (1482)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?

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  (646): Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why? http://tfl.nu/31ky
  Replies (7) Good night (616) Bad night (903)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  too bad you live with your parents still

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  (480): too bad you live with your parents still http://tfl.nu/9a6o
  Replies (9) Good night (587) Bad night (3050)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3347) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai

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  (317): Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta. (1-317): Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai http://tfl.nu/sch5
  Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (2424)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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  (512): we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us http://tfl.nu/0aiz
  Replies (2) Good night (2957) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

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  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7108) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.

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  (541): I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples. http://tfl.nu/kf5x
  Replies (17) Good night (3871) Bad night (1011)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

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  (816): He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man http://tfl.nu/qpf8
  Replies (18) Good night (4146) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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  (718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml
  Replies (6) Good night (865) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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  (276): I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra.... http://tfl.nu/gorr
  Replies (14) Good night (1539) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.

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  (724): He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot. http://tfl.nu/rv64
  Replies (2) Good night (880) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Alive.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So much puke

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  (978): Alive. (978): So much puke http://tfl.nu/8jc8
  Replies (0) Good night (446) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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  (317): This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me. http://tfl.nu/qrey
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.

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  (814): I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible. http://tfl.nu/cmea
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (257)

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