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i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
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