He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial