Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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