i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
