lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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