My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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