Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
