I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
