my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
