also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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