I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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