rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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