He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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