whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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