just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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