You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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