Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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