Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My bed smells like the plague
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
