i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
