She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
