i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
