he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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