im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
