Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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