i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There r osticjed everywhere
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
