That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
