Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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