Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
