She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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