its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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