Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
