The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize